Deny The Denial Of Love (Chapter Sixteen)

I saw an ad on the train the other day proclaiming that the 'stroke' is the number three biggest killer of humans. Well, I want to know what the number one killer is - that's what I need to be wary of. Forget number three. Why spend thousands on an ad campaign to tell me about the number 3 killer? Money NOT well spent.

"Excuse me" a middle aged man says to me on the stairs leading up to some place. I purposely don't excuse him. I want a confrontation. I want a confrontation where a person beats me to a pulp. It would be preferable if that person was suffering from some sort of depression. A beating at my expense might drag them foot first through their condition. At least then my beating won’t have been for a selfish cause. However if this type of individual is not my aggressor then it matters not. I just need a good thrashing to help me physically feel the pain of her crushing my heart.

Friendship? Pah, what’s that?  Friendship bores me. How can men and women be friends? Sex always gets in the way. Or worse, Love.

She laughed when I even uttered the word love. As if I had said marriage.
9 days since that whole incident and I was feeling less confused - I cared less about the confusion she caused and more about my own inability to not fall in love. As much as I denied it, I felt ‘in love’ with her. She encompassed my very being.

Confusion was secondary. All I now felt was angry at myself for falling.

The first great killer of humans is love. The second is stupidity. The third is the 'stroke'.